#Winning: with your children in mind

Friday Flourish

#Winning: with your children in mind

Every year, your children get older and enter another stage of development, so do you. Again.

This happens again and again every year. Over and over. Once you finally get your routine down and become a master of your domain, everything changes again.

It is nice to group some ages together: infancy, toddler, young child, tween, teenager, etc. These groups will usually have some similar characteristics that you can use to help you during those years. But then it changes, again!

It doesn’t matter if you have an older child, this current younger child has never been this age before. They have never been a toddler; 8 years old; 14 years old. And you have never been a parent of them at their current age.

On top of that, you have not been your current age ever before either.

Everyone is an individual and everyone requires different types of supports to help then develop. I can relate to having to mold children into ‘good people.’

THE STRESS OF THIS CAN BE MASSIVE!

How can you get through it each time winning? 

I am not sure why I always try to make things more complicated than they need to be. I am currently 42 years old and it took me so long to learn this. I am grateful I learned it, but I still have to remind myself of it. I can not go back to when I was trying to figure it all out and make it all work. 

BE PRESENT!

I have to realize that I have to take each day as fresh start and be present in each situation. I can’t be thinking about dinner, unless I am making dinner. I can’t be deciding about situations at work, unless I am at work. I can’t be thinking about the book I am reading, unless I am reading.

Like that’s what it comes down to: we want to make it all work. Every time. All the time. We have to realize that sometimes our best laid plans are not going to work. I am a planner and will plan most things in our lives down to taking a walk at a local park.

Like what do we eat before we leave, what time will we leave, who goes to the bathroom first before we leave, do we need coats, what shoes should we wear based on weather from previous day, what snacks do we take, will we get more food before we return home, etc.

Usually the planning with my children focuses on 3 main things:

Inspite of all of my planning, I have to remember there is always a chance that things may turn out different.

It’s not always going to work!

IT can’t. Not every time. Some of the time, it can. Even the majority of the time. But not all the time. And I have to be okay with that. Actually, I have to be more than okay with that. I have to relish in that and flourish in that.

You can too. It takes time and constant self talk, reminders, more reminders. But you can do it!

You can succeed at your goals!

If something doesn’t work. If one child decides that now they only want to eat rice and beans for every meal. If this child doesn’t want to talk to you about what is wrong. If this child decides they want to be rude to you.

Own your responses!

How do you handle it? What is your response? It is as important for them as it is for you.

Think about what you would think was the most difficult situation you recently went through with your children.

What were the steps you took to solve these situations? How to you rate your response if you were giving yourself a review? What can you do to make improvements?

The key for interaction with our children and others in our life is coming from a place of honesty.

Be honest!

Honesty with ourselves and with others. No, I don’t know it all. No, I don’t need my children to think I do. I need to be honest with them. When I am having a hard time, I do need to shield them from that. But they need to know mommy is a person too. 

Yes, I can do the hard things. But I need some help sometimes. And that is okay.

You can do the hard things!

When is a time you needed help in your parenting journey? How did you seek it out? What did you get from it? Are there any other helpful resources you can share? 

Leave a comment below.

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Remember to: 

Be you, be focused, be well;

Find Your Flourish!

Shanna