Look to the future even if the past was fun
Mastering Midlife: New and Improved
Growing up I used to always wonder why my parents asked me to help them with certain things like their cellphones or computer programs. Now I am them. I am my parents asking my children to help with all things related to technology or the new thing. Like what is the newest app that everyone is using now. What words are being used to describe being cool? I give my teenager my cell phone to complete tasks on it sometimes or perform tasks quicker than I can. My parents were like this when I was growing up and it amazed me. I used to think they would asks me to complete the simplest task. Now, I am them.
Two Phase Braces
My daughter has had braces in the past. And when she had them initially, we were informed it would be a two phase process for her. She had flared two front teeth on the top which was described to us as an extreme danger. Flared front teeth are when the outer sides of the teeth point towards the lips and not parallel with the gums. They met in the middle like the top of a triangle. After her baby teeth fell out, her permanent teeth just came in that way. I wanted to immediately get the braces put on once we were told of the danger if she fell or got hit in the mouth. Did she fall a lot? No. Was she participating in activities where she could get hit in the mouth? No. BUT I was a concerned mother. I wanted to make the appointment as quickly as possible.
So we did phase one. I thought everything was still going well. Ever since she had the braces removed, she has been excited to have them put back on. I could never figure that out. When I had braces, I could not get removed fast enough. I wanted them off quickly. I definitely did not want them to be put back on ever!
We went to the orthodontist last year with my daughter and they want to wait until her jaw had finished growing. Like she had completed the last of her growth spurts or was close to completing them. So we recently returned. Her jaw appears to be close to the end of growing, so we are looking at phase 2.
When we consulted with the orthodontist, we spoke about the various options. I was asking about less visible options like the Invisalign or clear braces. My daughter was greatly opposed to these options. She wanted the aluminum braces. I can not imagine. When I got my braces, the “clear” braces were just coming out. They were the new thing and I wanted them badly. I can remember to this day asking my parents over and over. I did not get those clear braces. They were under the impression that aluminum braces and clear braces created the same results. Straight teeth. There was no need to pay the uncharge for clear ones.
I could not believe that my daughter wouldn’t want the invisible braces. I could not understand it at all. The staff told me that many kids now want braces to be seen. They become a fashion accessory because they are able to change the bands to different colors. I can think of many other fashion accessories I would prefer over braces.
Generation Gap
One Room School
This whole experience made me think of how generations have identifying qualities and how things change through the generations. These changes happen so fast especially now with technology. I feel like I have experienced so many changes in society throughout my lifetime, but then I think back to listening to my mother speak about her childhood. I know she has experienced many changes as well. She was a little girl growing up in a segregated world of rural Kentucky. She started school in a one room school house across from her church. Now my children attend a school with hundreds of students. We are not that far from those times of my mother growing up in a small country school. Sometimes, that time period seems much simpler and less chaotic. Then, sometimes it seems more cruel and harsh.
No Television
I still hold onto some ideas that many people would think are old fashioned. Things that I experienced growing up like no television in my room. My children do not have televisions in their rooms. I don’t think any differently about families whose children have televisions in their rooms. My children just don’t. I never did growing up. My husband did. Both of us are competent functioning adults. I believe decisions like entertainment should be addressed household by household. What works for one may not work for another. My family watches television shows together or we sit through what someone else wants to see. They also have the option of being able to get to watch programs on other devices sometimes. They don’t need a television in their room.
Dinner Time
We have dinner together at the kitchen table most nights. We sometimes watch television at that time. My dad would frown upon that. We ate together as a family when I grew up but we never watched television during dinner. Our family dinner time is sacred. We do not use phones during that time. My husband makes a point of asking each of us what we learned that day and who we helped. Those questions can bring on prolonged discussion. Dinner time really provides an insight into my children’s thought processes, as well as their dreams.
Open Door Policy
My children do not close their doors to their rooms unless they are getting dressed. Yes, they have a veil of privacy but their rooms are not private. Yes, I will knock on the open door most of the time before I enter. No, their siblings can not just come in as they please. But they better not close that door. I did not close my door growing up.
Do you ask your children to help you with some present day tasks?
What are some rules in your house that are new for this generation? What rules from the past have you implemented in the present?
Thinking about my own upbringing and the person I am today makes me reflect on my past. I am thankful for my experiences. Those experiences influence how I interact with my own children. I also have to take into account my husband’s upbringing as well. It was different than mine. Sometimes I think that we could not be any more different; come from such different places. But somehow it all works.
I am passionate about optimal work life balance and can help you excel in both areas without compromise. I have found systems of planning, organization, and personal development that help achieve goals. I created this blog to discuss topics on our flourishing journey. Come on this journey with me and Find Your Flourish! Thank you for checking out this post.
Be you, be focused, be well! Find Your Flourish! |Shanna|