Mom Guilt Revisited: Let’s Get Over It

Mom guilt can continuously be on a mother’s mind everyday. Each day in motherhood can provide a reason to feel guilty. Mom guilt can come in many forms. It can be descried as a “pervasive feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right, or making decisions that may ‘mess up’ your kids in the long run.” https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/mom-guilt#definition

My previous post about Mom Guilt can be found here.

Mom guilt is one of those feelings that you may overcome at one point in your life and then it can come back again. That  is okay. We all have days where we feel better than others. On those down days, mom guilt may creep back in. Just know that there are ways that you can take control of your thoughts using some activities each day to set the course of what you are going to focus on instead of feeling guilty.

Feelings Created From Mom Guilt

Feeling unworthy

You want to do everything right all the time when it comes to your children. You think there is little room for error. While it is good to strive for correctness, no one is perfect. Trying to live up to an unreal vision is not good for you or your family. Not being able to get everything done or making mistakes at times, results in feeling like you are not worthy of your position. That your decisions are not the right ones to be used. The feeling of unworthiness is created by mom guilt. It can create a downward spiral for you.

Feeling like a failure

Mom guilt can also cause you to fee like a failure. Like your steps to success are not going to reach the appropriate result at all. This feeling can compound and you will can feel like getting succeeding in any area of your life is not going to happen. 

Feeling incapable

When you have done everything that you know how and the results are less than desirable, you feel incapable. You feel like your best is not good enough. That there is no way that you will be able to accomplish your goals. You feel like you do not have what you need to get things accomplished. It really becomes a horrible feeling that can paralyze you from taking the next steps needed to move forward.

Ways to improve your Mom Image

Mom image is similar to self image. It is the way a mom views herself. It also includes how she lives up to the image she has of herself in the motherhood role.

Let go of your ideal self

You probably have the image of how you want to behave as a mother. What you think an ideal mother looks like. And then you stack yourself up to this image. I am suggesting that you get rid of this image all together and accept who you are today. Yes, there are improvements that can be made so make a plan and take the steps to make the improvements. But don’t use an ideal image to punish yourself for things you are not doing. You are the expert when it comes to your children because they are yours. You know what they need and when they need it. You have to trust that and move forward. Give yourself some grace!

Unplug

Stop looking at social media and seeing what others are doing. Don’t compare yourself to that other mom who appears to have it all together. We rarely see the true interaction and true person on social media. There are always some details left out. Just know that everyone has to deal with their own issues at different times in their life. Do not compare what others have going on to what you don’t. Live your own life to the fullest. 

Check out this post on the benefits of unplugging for self care.

Secure your support system

Self awareness is a mature skill that has to be developed. And refined. Being self aware helps you realize that you are unable to do everything by yourself. You need a support system and a strong one. Whether it is made up of family members, best friends, mom friends, parent group members, you need a support system. 

Environmental changes that can help to cancel mom guilt

Have a plan

Planning is a major key to success in all areas of your life.

Make a priority list everyday with no more than 3 items that have to be completed before the end of your day. This is slightly different than a To-do list as it is not as long and these are the must-do items before the next day.

Planning your week is also a great way to stay focused as well as break down what you need to do in steps. This helps conquer the feelings of overwhelm.

Have a backup plan

Planning is wonderful when it works. But you know that everything does not always go according to plan. That means you need to have a backup plan. This is where some some people get overwhelmed. Thinking of what could go wrong and what you should do when your plan does work. Mothers have to become analysts and then do reviews of their plans as they are occurring. What needs to change? Can you make a quick change when needed?

Be ready for emergencies

Sometimes unexpected things happen and there is an emergency. You have to be ready for what may happen positive or negative. Your reaction affects how your family will feel about what is happening. Keep a positive outlook even in a challenging situation. Expect greatness everyday and the outcome may surprise you!

Treat yourself when you make small victories in your thought processes. Realize you are the expert.

I am not a doctor of mental health, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a counselor. I am a wife, mother of 3 children, and an entrepreneur who has numerous life experiences that I utilize to create blog posts, as well as personal research that I perform. Thank you for reading this post and share with others you know will benefit from this information!

I am passionate about optimal work life balance and I can help women excel in both areas without compromising in either area because I have found systems of planning, organization, and personal development that help achieve goals.

Be you, be focused, be well! Find Your Flourish! |Shanna|

National Alliance on Mental Health

Sometimes you may need additional support beyond what you or those around you can provide.

• If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, seek help. If it is an emergency, call 911.
• If you are looking for assistance that is non-emergent, reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness https://www.nami.org/help.
• The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.–8 p.m., ET. 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org
• You can also text NAMI at Text NAMI to 741-741.Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message.

Go ahead and check out some other recent posts on Find Your Flourish!

• How to Use Affirmations to Support Your Children
• How to Customize Your Morning Routine so It Works
• How to Discover Your Passion and Develop Your Midlife Business
• Mom [Boss]
• How to Identify and Set Intentions for Your Morning Routine