5 Questions That Make Mothers Restless at Night
A challenging part of being a mother is always the night. Bedtime routines are investigated and hours of sleep recommended, but beyond that- mothers are also left with their own thoughts during those late night hours when all that can be heard is the deep breathing of a husband and children. Restlessness can be created by a variety of things in a mother’s life. These thoughts create anxiety that can make a comfortable night’s sleep elusive.
Being restless is characterized by being unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom. As a mother, I know that our daily activities take us far away from being bored due to the ever changing nature of being a mother. Yes, we have our routine activities and do need to insert some variability at times. See this post that speaks to the benefits of changing your routine here. But we also never know what to expect, what the next day will bring, what we will be called on to do, how we will have to perform.
Can I get everything done?
This is a question I ask myself every night. I have a priority list I like to focus on throughout the day with certain tasks that have to be completed to finish the priorities. There is always more to complete. Other tasks that have to get done. I have to find comfort in the fact that I have completed activities before. Now that we are into the school year and we are homeschooling again- more focused time is required from me to complete tasks with my children while still completing household tasks and professional tasks.
Are my children going to listen to me and follow through?
This answer is not as direct because it does not involve me directly. It involves 3 humans and their wills. I can not control their wills as much as I would like to. They are all individuals and what one of them is motivated by, the others could care less. They also outnumber me. So I have to realize that I am in control and have to stand by my directives. What makes what I say that much more effective? Consistency. I have to remain consistent in what I say with clear expectations. Illustrating to my children what I expect, consequences of their actions, and remaining consistent on these, result in more harmonious activity in my home.
Will I have some time for myself?
I would like to have self care time daily. I would like to be able to improve myself daily. I would like to be able to focus on me daily. My schedule does not allow for this.
However, I can steal little moments here and there- that is where it can start, but this is not always possible everyday. I have to make myself a priority as I continue to support others. What does this mean? How does this look on a regular basis? I am a planner and have always been a planner. Most likely, I will always be a planner. So I have to make a plan to spend time with myself.
I advocate for you to spend time with yourself as well. I know some state that doing laundry and other household activities is a form of time to yourself. I do not consider any type of chore my self care. Self care to me is defined by doing something that I decide, for how long I decide, and by myself. Knowing this, I know that these times are precious and far between because of all my other responsibilities. But it is a priority to me and should be to you as well. You can only be your best to others if you are the best to yourself first!
What meals will we have tomorrow?
Meal preparation is necessary. There are a few #momlife tasks that I dread at times. One of those is meals- everyday the children must be fed (laundry and dishes are the other 2 tasks- can you relate?). There is something about the fact that again children have preferences. They are not always what I would chose and also I want to be that example for them. I am aware the eating and meal habits we display before our children does effect their interaction with food as an adult. I want to be that mom that easts all the right things and serves the well balanced breakfast, lunch, and dinner with healthy snacks in between. Well, realistically, sometimes, I do not want to cook anything. Like I want a bowl of cereal for dinner. I have to meal plan in order to get past this difficult question. I use a crockpot a lot and rely on some quick meals at times. And yes, we have pizza night one time a week to give this momma a break.
How can I support my husband?
This is sometimes the easiest question to answer because I always wanted to get married and be in a loving relationship with someone, so most of the time, I am giving and supportive; however there are times when being in a relationship is challenging. Spending the majority of time with someone on their good and bad days can be difficult for even the most seasoned person. It becomes easier for me when I focus on what I love and enjoy about my husband, how I want him to achieve his dreams, and how I want him to be happy. If there are things that I can do to support him with that, I will do it. You may have a greater challenge if you feel like you significant other is not supportive to you or that you are giving your all to a relationship only for it to go unanswered.
This is where I encourage you to communicate. No matter what stage of the relationship you are in, communicate of your needs and expectations is always warranted. You can not expect the other person to be a mind reader or to know that what may have been helpful last week is not helpful this week. Communicate with that person and see how much further you can develop your relationship. And hopefully get the support you deserve.
Looking for answers
Asking myself these questions daily can be exhausting. But I do think that knowing that there is always room for improvement and that I may have to seek others for support, keeps me improving how I interact and move forward in life.
What are the questions you struggle with on a daily basis? It may be that you have conquered something already but then something else becomes a challenge for you. Looking towards your past victories can assist you in continuing to make gains in the present.
You were not always where you are today, but you are not at your final destination either. You have to keep pressing forward and moving along in life. Yes, this is difficult at times and not always easy, but remembering where you have progressed from as well as your current goals can allow you the motivation to keep going!
Check out some previous posts
- Functional Fixedness and Its Effects
- 5 Ways to Implement Carlson’s Law to Increase Your Success
- Mastering Midlife: Page 2
- Mastering Midlife: Page 1
- New Quarter; Find out what’s new
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Be you, be focused, be well! Find Your Flourish! |Shanna|
Great post I loved reading it and what you say is so true. X
Yasmin- Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post and comment. I hope you found something in this post that will help you along your journey and support you in flourishing! My goal is to assist those looking to succeed in all areas including motherhood. |Shanna|
Yes, I can relate! There is always something to do. I’ve been creating my to do list at night and it has helped release stress in the morning.
Alicia- I appreciate your comment. I am glad that you have found a method that will work for you in relieving stress. As a mother, that helps us be able to manage home situations much better. |Shanna|