Mom [guilt] Confessions

Mom guilt defined

Mom guilt can be described as a

“pervasive feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right, or making decisions that may ‘mess up’ your kids in the long run.” 

https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/mom-guilt#definition

Mom guilt can go up and down throughout motherhood. One day you can feel like everything and everyone is completely under control and you are doing well as an individual, then without any warning- mom guilt can resurface. No mom is completely immune to the feelings mom guilt can plague us with because we are all human. We just can not have it all together, all the time. This post focuses on a few confessions that I have to deal with when I am facing mom guilt head on. I experience mom guilt at various times and have to refocus myself.

Mom guilt confession #1

I second guess my decisions.

Sometimes when someone says something about my children or household, I own the comment. I take it on as truth and it makes me doubt my decisions as a mother. I replay things in my mind of how I could have done something different or improved on a past moment. Rehearsing this event in my mind makes me feel down on myself. Once I get into feeling down, a create a vicious cycle. Making it difficult for me to live in the present and make decisions about what is happening at the present moment. I prefer to live intentionally and not be reactive, so I have to get over this feeling quickly.

Why I shouldn’t feel guilty about my decisions

When I make decisions, I make the decisions under the knowledge that I have available at the moment. I make sound decisions. I make decisions that are in the best interest of myself, my spouse, and my family. My decisions are not from a place of ill intent, but from a place of uplifting my family and from pure love.

Mom guilt confession #2

I am not providing my children with enough opportunities. 

I am not doing enough daily to develop my children into the best people they can be. Should I have them in more activities? Am I seeking out the right opportunities for them to decide where their strengths lie? What kind of foundation am I providing for relationships? There is a lot out now on gentle parenting, not spanking, canceling time out. Is this a path I need to follow? Can I make up for lost time? How much damage have I done if last week I got upset and yelled? Am I supporting their psychological development in the best way?

Why I shouldn’t feel guilty about the opportunities I provide

I am the best mother for my children. No one else can be their mother as well as I can. I am equipped to provide my children with what they need at all stages of their life. I am growing and developing as well. As I grow, I will use what I learn to impact my children.

Mom guilt confession #3

I sometimes do not want to interact with my children.

I am not always ready for interaction with my children. I sometimes want to be by myself and do what I want. I sometimes just want to be by myself. Children require interaction everyday. When you homeschool and emphasize family time, togetherness goes to a whole new level. Sometimes this togetherness is A LOT. And I would like to escape from it.

Why I shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting some alone time

People are social creatures but some of us require much less interaction than others. I am an only child and preferred solo work in school. This is my personality and I am aware of it. I know that sometimes I need to be alone to re-energize myself. My children have some of me in them, but they are truly their father’s children. They enjoy interacting. Everyday. I am comfortable with who I am, so I know that there are times whe I have to pull away. And that is okay.

What to do if you still feel mom guilt

• Self care time
• Affirmations
• Reflection

Finding out what helps you relax and get back to a balanced stay of mind is key for self care. You can have a few activities that you enjoy. When you are able to have time to yourself, these are great to use during that time.

Affirmations used daily can uplift your mood and increase your own self esteem. Having these affirmations readily available can be the best thing. I am powerful. I am strong. I am focused. I am brave. I am thoughtful. I am exactly who I need to be. I continue to improve. I am strong.

Looking back on the wins you have had in the last can help propel you into future successes. You can not live in the past, but you can use it for motivation in your current situation.

Previous mom guilt posts

Seeking more support

National Alliance on Mental Health

Sometimes you may need additional support beyond what you or those around you can provide.

• If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, seek help. If it is an emergency, call 911.
• If you are looking for assistance that is non-emergent, reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness https://www.nami.org/help.
• The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.–8 p.m., ET. 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org
• You can also text NAMI at Text NAMI to 741-741.Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message.

Recent posts

• How to Use Affirmations to Support Your Children
• How to Customize Your Morning Routine so It Works
• How to Discover Your Passion and Develop Your Midlife Business
• Mom [Boss]
• How to Identify and Set Intentions for Your Morning Routine

I am celebrating 1 year in this blogging journey. If you are new to Find Your Flourish! or you have been following along for awhile now, I am grateful for you. I am thankful that you continue to read what I have to say and hope that you find something that can help you in your journey to flourishing everyday and in all that you do. I am a mom who is an expert at accomplishing my goals, making my family life and professional life work together, and finding productivity keys that can help you achieve more.

Sign up to receive emails from Find Your Flourish! to get information right to you inbox that you need. I hope to connect with you.