End Self Deception and Love Your True Self

In order for you to conquer challenges in your life and achieve a level of success you are proud of, you have to end self deception. You have to look at yourself honestly and with the ability to recognize your faults. Then, with the capacity to address these faults, you can improve you. Ending self deception allows you to love yourself for who you are without reservations or hesitation. At that point, it doesn’t matter what others may think or say. You know you are already great!

Self deception defined

Self deception is the action or practice of allowing oneself to believe that a false or unvalidated feeling, idea, or situation is true- Definitions from Oxford Languages

Self deception in reality

Now self deception can affect your mindset in a way that decreases the speed you can reach goals and also effects your ability to see where you presently are, which affects your ability to make improvements. Many of us have had to deal with some level of mom guilt at various points in the motherhood journey, but we also attempt to look at the brighter side many times. Sometimes looking at the brighter side, prevents us from seeing things for what they really are. We can create a level of self deception that becomes hurtful to our dreams. Self deception paralyzes you from action. Self deception allows procrastination to overtake our momentum and then we have to play catch up. This does not allow us to work at our ultimate abilities and creates a level of stress that is not needed.

Look at your current situation. What can be improved ?

What steps can your use to get to that improved state?

When will you start to take these steps?

Forms of self deception

Denial

I am a healthy eater, except in the pantry there are chips, candy, and sodas.

This takes what is reality that can be proven by factual information and changes it based on the way we want to see ourselves or a situation. Usually in a more positive way that what is the reality. This prevents us from making appropriate changes that can improve our lifestyle and overall well being. Don’t deny who you are. If there are characteristics or habits you have that you don’t like, seek to change them. Don’t deny them.

Projections

You know you are too busy to care about me.

Because we feel a certain way about a situation or a person, we state that is how someone else feels about a situation. Not really owning our own feelings and make them seem like they belong to someone else. This does not allow us to be true to others about what our feelings and actions are. If you feel a certain way about something, other people you know may not hold those same feelings. That does not make your feelings any less valid. They just make those feelings yours.

Rationalizations

I only acted this way because you spoke to me that way.

This type of thought process causes us sometimes act irrationally because we are reactionary. We do things based on how someone else treated us or a certain situation affected us; not because we made a conscious decision about how we are responding. This causes us to be led with our emotions versus rational decision making. There is definitely a place for emotions but emotions should not cause us to act without thinking through the results of these actions. Allow yourself to have feelings, but also have a conscious method of how you respond. And your response does not always have to be immediate.

Activate a winning mindset

End self deception and allow yourself to control your thoughts. Control your actions. Do not give that power to anyone else or to a certain circumstance. Use your intellect and create the mindset that you want. You can reach your definition of success. Define your wins by your own definition. Not other peoples. This has to be a daily practice for you in order to not be influenced by your environment. You have to see your environment for what it is but not allow it to keep in ap lace you don’t want to be. Create the environment you truly want!

Help is available 

Self deception can be rooted in mental health challenges at times. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, seek help. If it is an emergency, call 911.

If you are looking for mental health assistance that is non-emergent, reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness https://www.nami.org/help. The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.–8 p.m., ET.

1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org

You can also text NAMI at Text NAMI to 741-741.

Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message.

National Alliance on Mental Illness

1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

Text NAMI to 741-741

To Thine Own Self Be True

This blog post was birthed out of this statement: to thine own self be true. I woke up with it on my mind one day and wanted to find out more about it. It is used by many for encouragement against challenges and has been interpreted by many people in different ways as well. Some people say that you have to be responsible your own thoughts and feeling before anyone else will value them. Others have interpreted it to mean that you should not lie to yourself. It had also been used to state that you have to look out for yourself before you consider others. Since it is from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, it could mean all those things or a variation on them.

I choose to interpret it that you should not lie to yourself and be responsible for your own actions, as well as the result of these actions have on the environment around you. Be true to who you are at all times in all situations. Know why you make decisions and why you respond to certain situations in the way you do. To Thine Own Self Be True.

Resources

• Information on Shakespeare’s quote from Hamlet https://www.enotes.com/shakespeare-quotes/thine-own-self-true
• Further information on ways to eliminate self deception from your life https://betterhumans.pub/how-to-liberate-your-life-from-self-deception-76d7d0d56abf
• Extensive text that goes into greater detail of the psychology of self deception https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/self-deception/

Remember to be you, be focused, be well!

Find Your Flourish!

|Shanna|

Follow Find Your Flourish! Facebook Page for posts and videos that will support you in creating a balance between your professional and personal life. Some posts will challenge you, but they will help you reach your goals. You can flourish in all the areas of your life without having to compromise anywhere!