How to Maintain Joy in Marriage

You have to maintain joy in marriage if you are going to last beyond the honeymoon stage. Here are 5 things I learned in marriage that have assisted me in maintaining joy every day, even in the challenging times. You can maintain joy in marriage. It takes some work and effort. Sometimes it is so hard to see the end of a negative situation; however maintaining mental focus on joy and the love you have for your spouse can help. It doesn’t make the horrible situation go away, but it does make it easier to live through. You can get through it!

Mentality is so important to your success in all areas of life. This includes marriage. Success is built on everyday wins and small adjustments. Your success relates directly to how you can use your experiences to stay motivated and accomplish goals.

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Self care is essential to maintain joy in marriage

You must have time to yourself where you do things that you enjoy. Alone. This will help you to develop yourself. It also provides you with time to be in control of what you are doing without explanation. Sometimes there is not a lot of time for self care, so take advantage of it when you are able. BUT do not let too much time pass in between your self care sessions. The benefits you receive will affect everyone positively.

Some self care ideas

• Read a book
• Take a walk
• Take a bubble bath
• Apply a face mask
• Have a standing appointment for your hair, nails, or massage

Communication is key to maintain joy in marriage

You can not have a relationship if you do not communicate with someone. Having a conversation requires you to share your thoughts and ideas. Then LISTEN to the other person. The listening part is most important. This is how you can hear the heartbeat of your spouse and know what you need to do to help support them with their dreams and desires. Think back to why you wanted to get married. Hopefully, one of the reasons was to experience life with someone. One of efficient way to do this is to communicate daily. Sometime communication can be challenging. Here is a post that provides some support through those times.

A few conversation starters

• What was your favorite thing that happened last week and why?
• Tell me about the most challenging thing from work in the past month and how did you deal with it.
• What is a goal that you want to accomplish in the next 6 months?
• Where do you want to go on our next vacation?
• What are 3 things you enjoy about being married to me?

Seek outside neutral counsel when needed to maintain joy

Admitting there is a problem that you are unable to solve creates feelings of inadequacy. We have all been there. The steps you take at a point like this in your marriage relationship is so important. Ignoring the problem just allows for further disruption at a later date. Facing the issue and creating a solution is important. Sometimes this can not be done from what you and your spouse know.

When there is a significant challenge, This is NOT when you contact your friends, mother, cousin, siblings, other family members.

This is when you contact a leader from your church, a relationship counselor, a family psychologist. There are numerous resources available that can allow you to leave the problem behind and take your relationship to the next level. Do not get caught in the cycle of thinking that you can solve your own problems all the time. Sometimes having a sounding board who is a professional can assist in seeing alternatives that have not been considered before.

Figure out you and your husband’s love language to maintain joy

When I first got married 15 years ago, I read this book with my husband and we did the quizzes included and everything. To this day, I can tell you principles from this book still help us. It is great to know yourself and what is important to you. But having actual terms that are consistent between you and your husband is great. You also are able to know what your husband wants. As a woman, we can always guess. When we do this, are we basing this off what we truly know about our husband or are we basing it on other past relationships? Remember your husband is an individual and your relationship with him is yours alone. Discover what would make you both stronger as a couple.

Schedule regular date time to maintain joy in marriage

You spent so much time dating before you got married. That was when adult obligations were minimal. You put work on the back burner. You stayed up late to talk on the phone, You sacrificed sleep. Now there are children in the mix, a job, outside obligations. It is a massive amount of things that go on from day to day. How do you possibly keep your relationship fresh? You have to still date. You have to schedule time together doing things you both enjoy. It may only be once a month, but make that time date time. A time where you focus on each other= date night. 

Date night fun

• Go watch a movie or watch a movie in
• Have a couple’s meal
• Do something outside- take a walk or ride a bike, go to the park, observe the moon and the stars
• Drive around your city or town and look around
• Go and make personalized art like painting pottery, painting on a canvas
• Do something that awakens the child in you both- go to a trampoline park, go to the pet store and look at animals, go to a candy store and pick out candy for each other

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Check out other blog posts under these categories:

• Blogtober 2021
• Blogtober 2022
• Children and family
• Mastering Midlife Pages
• Personal and Professional Development
• Personal and Professional Development
• Positive Thinking
• Prompts
• Self Care
• Uncategorized

Leave a comment below about your thoughts on this post; any activities or questions you want to add to help us all focus on joy; or what you find the most challenging about keeping the joy everyday. We all have had those times where joy seems far away.

Don’t give up!

You can bring joy back into your relationship. Choose to focus on joy!

Remember to be you, be focused, be well!

Find your Flourish!

|Shanna|

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