How To Make Yourself a Top Priority
In many posts, I discuss how you can improve yourself as a professional, a wife, and a mother. Being a priority can be a challenge when you are working in your profession, taking care of your husband’s needs, attending to your children’s needs, and aiding in the running of a household. Be a top priority by realizing your worth and the importance of being the top priority on the list.
How to improve yourself with your children and husband around, how to involve family in weekly planning, how to support everyone while still supporting yourself. It can be done.
Then there is a time when you need to make yourself a priority. Just you being you!
There has to be sometime when you focus on YOU!
How I grew up
Here is some info about how I grew up:
I grew up an only child. Even now in my 40s, I get asked often about growing up as the sole child in a house. Didn’t I want siblings? Did I get bored? Did I get everything I wanted? Was I spoiled? And so on.
- Did I want siblings?
No, I was very well adjusted in my role.
It was all I knew. I thank my parents for making me secure in who I was and I didn’t feel slighted in the least. I always let people know that I had friends when I wanted that outlet of companionship. I didn’t have to be concerned with someone all the time.
I was well adjusted then in my own company and this has continued to this day. I am completely fine staying in and doing things at my own pace, in my own time, in my own space.
2. Did I get bored?
No, I was completely satisfied being by myself and playing games or other outlets.
People are amazed when I tell them I played Uno by myself; right hand versus left hand. I played Monopoly by myself. Now, my parents would also play games with me too, but I think I am so good at strategy today because I would attempt to out think myself.
I was also able to develop my creative skills as I had to have independent play throughout the day when I wasn’t visiting with friends. In moderation and with appropriate guidance, solitary play has been shown to aid in developing imagination and creative process in children (https://blogs.cornell.edu/ccesuffolkfhw/2015/03/28/playing-alone-can-promote-creativity-initiative-and-esteem/).
3. Did I get everything I wanted?
NO!
I tell people all the time that my 3 children have gotten more from my parents in their early years than I receive my whole time living at home. My parents let me know that this is how it should be. And I understand; grandparents are a whole other type of parent.
But I still would have liked a pool. Or a dog. Or a swing set.
4. Was I spoiled?
No. Again this is something I have to thank my parents for as they did not allow me to focus on myself all the time.
They involved me a variety of activities; some with me not wanting to participate, but participate I did. That resulted in me being well rounded and volunteering in a variety of places and with a variety of individuals.
Ways for you and your family to locate volunteer opportunities
There are several ways you can find local places to volunteer. Don’t forget also check local organizations like food banks, diaper banks, soup kitchens. All of these places usually have volunteer opportunities available.
Why we DO NOT make ourselves a priority
I use these early life lessons to help me take time for myself. I hear some moms talk about how they feel bad going to work and then wanting to have time for themselves once they are off work. My children need me, they are only this age once, it upsets them when I am not there, and many other reasons as to why mommy can’t get her time by herself. I have not ever heard a dad say any thing that resembles this at all. At all. Dads are able to do their work and come home for a break/ down time without a seconds thought when they spend time away from the children.
Of course, we, mothers, have that nurturing side that makes us mothers, but being a martyr is not necessary to have a successful family. Putting in work at the beginning with your children will make the transition to regular self care times and self development times easier. The earlier you can have these times for yourself, the earlier your children and husband will be used to it. And the earlier you will be building yourself up to be the best you can each day.
How to make yourself a priority
Here are some tips that will immediately adjust your mindset and allow you to see the benefit for self care immediately:
- Realize you are valuable-
You matter and are important to those around you. You being a part of others’ lives is important to them. You are valuable. You contribute to the environment around you in a positive way.
- Realize you can not support others without supporting yourself-
In order to support others, you have to be in a position to do so. This means you need to take care of yourself. One of the areas to do this is self care. Decide what is your favorite self care activity and plan to do it at least once a month!
- Realize that time for yourself today will benefit everyone tomorrow-
If you have read any past blog posts on Find Your Flourish!, you know I am a planner and an advocate for you to begin to plan your week and create a daily routine. Taking time to build yourself is only setting you and your family up for success in the future!
- Realize that developing a routine for self care always your children and husband to become more independent without your input-
Think back to when you gave birth to your children, every day you are attempting to get them closer to do activities with less of your support. Now in those younger years if you are like me, you are trying to get the children to also seek daddy out for assistance as well.
You being unavailable for a brief time will allow the family members to discover they can survive without your direct input all the time. You are getting them to believe in themselves and all you have already deposited in them.
This has been another Flourish Friday Post.
Thank you for taking your time to read. Please comment below with any questions or ways that you are going to start making yourself a top priority!
Remember to be you, be focused, be well!
Find Your Flourish!
|Shanna|
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[…] and do something for you. It would be optimal if you were able to do this at least once a month. Plan out your self care time and let it be that: YOUR SELF CARE TIME. It is an appointment with yourself for yourself. Do not […]
Omg, the part about Dad being able to take a break with no problems is so true…and it drives me crazy! And yes, getting the family to be able to function without your input is definitely a good thing to establish early on. I think i may have made it hard for myself because i was very hands on (**control freek) with my daughter. I didnt want my husband making decisions about for/her because ” I knew best”. Now its biting me in the behind!
Shantryce, It is never too late to recapture that time for yourself and delegate some of those responsibilities to your husband. I am forever still giving responsibilities daily! I find that if I let my husband know what I expect from him each day in the morning helps. Sometimes I think “he should know this needs to be done.” BUT I can’t assume because that just leaves me frustrated, so I go ahead and communicate clearly to him my expectations. |Shanna|