We Are All Trying To Do Our Best

Find Your Flourish: Mastering Midlife

This is a true view into the daily routine of a 40-something year old woman.

This summer we took a trip as a family with my parents to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. My father decided to rent a RV in the Class- B category. Class B is the smallest type of RV. It gives you standing space, a bathroom, some seating that can convert to sleep space. What it does not give you are reclining seats for everyone or a lot of space for actual luggage. They are really made for that outdoor life.

I have to say that traveling in an RV is comfortable especially with a toddler. You have a bathroom on board. There are snacks available that you have packed yourself and there is entertainment. 

Anyway, the seven of us packed up with our clothes and items in tote bags and other various bags to head to Gatlinburg. We used it to drive to Gatlinburg where we stayed in a hotel. My father wanted the grandchildren to have the experience in one and to see if we wanted to use an RV for another trip that would be more camping-like.

It was an experience that we all enjoyed.

On the return trip, we stopped at a fast food restaurant. No trip is complete without some quick fast food that turns into an extra long stop because there are seven people with various wants and food preferences.

My husband and I went into the restaurant to order while everyone else waited in the RV. Now there are these new ordering kiosks that is supposed to make everything easier and cut down on the amount of personnel required during each shift. Well, with our large order and several substitutions and omissions and coupons (my husband never lets a deal pass him by), the kiosk was overloaded and would not perform its appropriate function. We had to get a staff member to assist. Her answer was to first attempt an override on current machine. Then it was to move to another machine and then input everything again. She did offer to provide us with 1 something because of our troubles. What? Okay, so let’s work on my patience today as well as everyone else’s who is waiting in the RV. That’s fine. We moved to the other kiosk to re-do the order.

If you have been to one of these restaurants, you know the next step is to wait in the queue for your order to be ‘prepared.’ So we waited. This is where you wonder why your order is taking so long. Those people came in after you with more people. You question why you decided to stop here in the first place. 

While we were waiting, my husband had to go to the bathroom. I was left to people watch on my own. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a mother with 2 boys who had to be about three and four years old. I saw her order with one attempting to let her know what he wanted while the other one appeared in his own world and focusing on various items in the environment. I am a pediatric physical therapist by profession so I was able to identify the older one as being on the autism spectrum. His movements were less coordinated and his speech was less developed than his younger brother. The mother was younger than I probably in her early twenties. They were in the waiting queue as well.

The mother decided to have them sit at the table that was close to the counter. In the newly remodeled restaurants, the tables and chairs do not move. They are bolted into the floor. This set up is not optimal for younger children who are positioned further away from the table. So imagine a three year old and a four year old who are hungry, want their toy, and are active. The older brother attempted some sort of move in between the chair and the table, which resulted in him falling hard onto the floor with a loud smacking sound.

And then the crying began. And then their order was ready.

Now what would you do in this instance if you are the mother? She had to pick up the child who fell with the other brother still talking to her about whatever toddlers like to talk about at the time. The crying, inconsolable brother shoe fell off while she was holding him. 

Food is still ready and waiting. Child is still crying.

She grabbed the food quickly, placed it on the table, and returned to put the shoe back on while still holding him.The mother was just trying to do her best. Probably in her mind, she thought the easiest and quickest thing for lunch today is to grab some fast food. She would have never came if she thought this was the way it was going to turn out.

So I approached her. I asked her if it was okay if I helped her get her son’s shoe back on.Then, I asked her if it was okay if I helped her get to her car. She looked like she was going to cry. She said she was about to have a panic attack because of the situation. Her car was not that far from the restaurant but probably would have felt like miles if she had to do it alone. I talked to her other son while we walked and she carried his brother. She looked at me with such gratitude when we got to her care. She was so appreciative. She told me she didn’t know what she was going to do after her son fell, because once he gets upset, it is difficult to calm him down.

Just that me doing something so small helped someone else get through their day a little easier. I wasn’t the only person available to help her but I was the only one who stepped up to do so. Sometimes it only takes a minute to make a difference. Just seeing people as a person of worth and not judging their situation can be the greatest thing you can do.

Everything happens for a reason. In midlife, I give chance no credit for events that happen. I make decisions and choices that ultimately shape where I am today. All the steps leading us to that fast food restaurant, even down to the kiosk challenges, resulted in me being available to help someone else. Many times, people don’t reach out to assist others because they think it is going to take too much of their time or they think that the person is going to ask for too much from them. In reality, it will probably take a little bit of your time and make a huge impact for that person. We are all trying to do our best.

Thank you so much for reading this post. More to come with Mastering Midlife.

• Functional Fixedness and Its Effects
• 5 Ways to Implement Carlson’s Law to Increase Your Success
• Mastering Midlife: Page 2
• Mastering Midlife: Page 1
• New Quarter; Find out what’s new

Be you, be well, be focused! Find Your Flourish!

|Shanna|

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